Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
