All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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