For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
