I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She bit a glass in half.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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