he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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