so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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