Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
