So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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