maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How external is "for external use only"?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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