TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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