i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
