I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
