So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
