thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
