apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
