Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
