its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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