When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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