so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
