we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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