Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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