look no pants
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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