Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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