SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize