He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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