Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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