I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
