If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
