Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
