Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
