Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
