I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
