We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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