i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
