Four minutes until I can fart!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
