Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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