and she was petting her beer can
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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