all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
