don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
