It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
