yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
