i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
