Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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