I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
