If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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