i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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