His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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