I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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