last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
