It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
