Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
