alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize