I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
