Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
