i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this will be a night to untag.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
