If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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