let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
