That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
