Where did you get a picture of my penis
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
