I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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