well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
are you so shy because you have an std?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
