You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
