Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
