Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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