There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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