The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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