there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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