she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
