just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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