i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
