I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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