Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
