You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
