You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
