Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her vagine was all disorganized.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
