Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
