She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
